Mar 18, 2017

The past

what a relief I could live and get through all shit. I don't said it's already over but yeah alhamdulillah for what I have now and ofc I won't turn back or look back. When I look back on my life, I see pain, mistakes, scars and heart ache. It has been a years. I won't forget what I did and what people did to me. You know what? Hargai orang is the best thing to make yourself happy. Let's have a look on myself lah kan from the past years haha. I saw arrogant, stubborn, ego and shit all the negative thingy lah! It's me. Yup it's fucking me. I don't said that oh i'm pretty bla bla shit but maybe my luck kot easy to find someone or should I say a boipren? eerrr I guess?? But the thing is, I never appreciate even bersyukur for what I had before. Allah selalu bagi the thing that I want but yeah too young to realize till I regret.. Tbh, I am not that easy. People thought me oh this girl so easy to get bcs of what? Bcs aku layan. I'm a type that always observe and analyze people. My otak fucking berjalan no no I thing it's running and never stop observing people hahaha. My habit. Well "Virgo strength keyword; Analytical-Observant-Precise" Hahahahha I am sooooooooooo proud to be virgo ok whatever. So when someone especially a guy datang to my life, sepantas kilat I found out a mistakes and then I leave or I make they leave. There's one guy.. I loved him so much. But love wasn't enough to stay I guess. WE NEED EFFORT. RELATIONSHIP NEED EFFORT. LOVE NEED EFFORT. Kasar & ego.. hell no for serious relationship. It's not good dude. My bad. I started all thing and then he change and then he leave and then he came back and then he make me tergantung like shit.. Ahhh there's no ending for us I guess (I cannot tell ya'll what happen bcs it is too panjang #sinetron300episod) 

It's really hard for me to move on at first. But one day, I just realize what's important for me.. I asked myself; bij, for how long you gonna wait for this guy who are not show his effort?????? You need a break. Some of my friends nasihat hey why not give other guy chances? So this time, mmg nekad and then someone's replying my instagram story... 


To be continue...

Xoxo, farah.